I Swear I'm Not Guilty (ok maybe a little!)

Good morning everyone.  I'm sitting here with my morning coffee in front of my therapeutic light.  It's brand new out of the box.  I just received it the other day from Sears (it was on sale!).  My goodness is it ever BRIGHT.  I feel silly sitting here in front of it.  I feel as though I'm being interrogated.  Maybe I am in a way.  It feels as though the light can see through me.  The light is seeping through my skin down into my being searching for the reasons for it.  What made me buy it?  Well the obvious answer is the darkness here, but really, at this point, I'm sure we get as much daylight as all of you in the South (and very soon we will get far more!) or at least we are close!  The other reasonable reasons are my once in a while irritability and anxiety.  The one reason I like to hide but I will share with you is my emotional eating.  I hate it and I want to try to deal with it instead of sweeping it under the rug AGAIN.  It seems worse in the wintertime and definitely worse when I'm dealing with emotional stress like a certain big move perhaps or having to make new friends.  Sometimes the triggers are obvious as I just mentioned but sometimes they are not.  Sometimes I simply find myself eating mindlessly and sabotaging by weight loss efforts for reasons I guess I don't take the time to figure out.  My lifelong goal has always been to wear a bikini (wow we are going deep this morning - what is this light doing to me?).  Not that I would ever wear one NOW after having 3 boys and tons of stretch marks, flabby skin and varicose veins to boot, but I would like that to be a decision that I MAKE and not determined by my body.  So here I am.  I'm sitting in front of this light to see if it may help with the emotional stuff enough so that I can learn to deal with dealing with it.  Ha!  I just re-read that sentence and I'm not sure if it makes any sense, but I wouldn't really know how else to put it.  My time is almost up and I need to blog about last night.  Thanks for listening.

Anticipated Pictures vol. 2

Hooray for Brian!  He finally received a work camera and now we can use the cables to upload our pictures onto the computer from our Nikon.  It may not seem like much work, but uploading all the pictures in vol. 1 and 2 has essentially taken me all day.  At one point I was doing the dishes while uploading the pictures.  Today was a "cold day" when school is cancelled because the temperature was below -50 degrees.  I was nice to be able to focus on getting these pictures on - but I had to ignore my boys for a good part of the day (I am mostly kidding, they played really well today so it was a mellow day for all of us.)  Anyway I hope you enjoy them! 

One of the many fishing boats in town.  Notice the polar bear skin hanging from the back pole (no idea what that's called).

Benjamin and Nathan by the Inukshuk behind our house.

This is the community grave.  I can see it off in the distance from my back windows.

Moonset.  Once again, my lack of a zoom lens really takes away from the picture.  The moon was the biggest that I had ever seen.  This is also part of our view from our back windows.

The rectangular blue building on the left hand side is our duplex.  We live on the left side and this is the back of the house.  In the middle is Nathan exploring his new surroundings and there is one of the two Inukshuks on the right.

My boys playing on a mountain of snow in the afternoon.  This was taken not long after we moved here and so it was getting dark quite early.  It was actually quite mild when we moved here so we were able to take the camera outside a few times before the real cold hit...

Anticipated Pictures vol. 1

Sunset during a windstorm.  The fuzzy colour is due to the wind blowing the snow across the land.

Moonset.  The sun had not risen yet but the sky was becoming a brighter blue.  I wish I had my zoom lens (we found it broken days before we moved!) because the moon was huge and pink.  The pink moon set up against the different hues of blue made for a spectacular sight one morning.

Northern Lights.  These were taken the night we all hopped in the truck and drove out of town to see them.  The pictures are fuzzy because we didn't have our tripod and for nighttime pictures the shutter stays open for 20 seconds or more.  Therefore the camera isn't very forgiving even for slight movements like breathing.  But you get the picture...

While this one is extra blurry, I love it because it gives a glimpse as to how grand these lights are compared to the town of Coral Harbour in the background.  The lights engulf the sky from one end to the other.  They are majestic.

Brian took this one and it's our best one so far.   Now that we have our tripod, we hope to get out again when it warms up a bit.

Sunset.  I love looking at the contrast between the sky and the flat land (and they say the prairies are flat!)

This is a terrible picture taken from our window (with Brian's reflection in it!) , but I wanted to share what it looks like to us even from inside.

The Simple Life

I love the simple life.  There aren't many complications here - at least not in my household (I'm not sure what goes on in other households - I have yet to be invited into a local's home).  My friend Jen from Ottawa (we've known each other for what now? almost 20 years?!?!?!? Wow that makes me feel old.) came to visit me in Selkirk about 2 years ago and I remember her commenting on how she thought my life was so simple.  How she nearly envied that aspect of it (not necessarily the part about having 3 small rowdy boys though :o).  Part of it is being a stay-at-home mom, part of it is living in a small town, part of it is a conscious decision not to get over-involved or over-commited.  Part of it is enjoying the simple things in life like getting good meals ready from scratch, reading books to my boys, playing outside in the snow (or once upon a time playing in the garden!).  I remember so many people commenting on how much time I was going to have when I moved here.  I couldn't wait to have ALL this time especially after running around so much in the fall.  I have long standing projects and goals that I want to conquer:  organizing my pictures in albums, learning to sew, being better at keeping in touch with friends and family, teaching my boys French (the never-ending challenge!), getting in better shape (never ending challenge II) etc.  Well let me tell you that having a simplified life does not mean boredom!  Not here anyway.  In some ways I have much less to do.  There are no stores to shop at, the errands are few, not many activities to take the boys to, nowhere to go on weekends really.  We really get to spend lots of time as a family.  We get to be lazy on Saturday mornings.  I've realized however that the things that I DO have to do are more time consuming.  My mornings are spent getting 3 young boys and myself dressed to conquer -40 and colder weather and let me tell you that is no easy feat!  Then we walk Benjamin to school, walk back and take all our stuff off only to have to start all over again a couple of hours later.  Now let's talk about dishes.  I used to love doing dishes.  I find it relaxing.  Now I nearly hate it.  Now, I stare blankly at a boring wall for hours daily washing my dishes.  No dishwasher.  How I miss my dishwasher.  You see I'm the kind of person who put everything, except for my china (or the "not dishwasher safe" items) of course, in the dishwasher.  Now I'M dishwasher extraordinare.  Brian usually helps with the after supper dishes but his fingers were bitten by a drunk man on the weekend - badly enough that it's bandaged and he can't work all week (or do dishes or fold laundry...  as you can imagine it's killing him not being able to do these things!).  I find that once all the dishes are done and the kitchen is cleaned up, there's not a whole lot of time for much else.  Also there is no takeout.  If I don't feel like cooking well, I have to cook - something!  While Brian and I were not big on takeout we used to get those little pre-cooked rotisserie chickens or frozen pizzas once in a while.  How I miss M&Ms and President's Choice frozen meals.  They were usually partially healthy.  Here, the frozen food selection is limited and it's extra pricey.  Not to mention complete junk. My only saving grace are leftovers.  I have to ban Brian from eating them at lunch so we can have them for supper.  I shouldn't complain that my husband loves my cooking (most of the time!) and enjoys it as much the next day...  As long as he stays away from the leftovers until supper!  And if I have guests coming, I can't stop at the bakery in a pinch to buy my favourite imperial cookies (how I miss the delicious goodness of those melt-in-your-mouth-raspberry filled darlings!).  Or stop at the store to buy flowers to say thank you for dinner when we go somewhere.  It's all me baking from scratch.  Don't get me wrong I LOVE cooking and baking, but it takes time.  Even my attempts at keeping in touch are quite time consuming.  Blogging, emailing, telephone calls, reading Facebook updates...  Lets face it, I have friends and family in many parts of Canada (and abroad!) from my many walks of life and I still try to keep in touch with many of you.  I could go on about having to patch the 10 or more pair of pants that Benjamin has put holes in the knees, the socks that need mending (we don't have carpet here and my boys throw themselves onto the floor racing their cars and trucks... I guess it doesn't hurt that much!), doing laundry in tiny washer and dryers (double the loads), online shopping (I really don't like it yet) and all the general stuff.  Life isn't very stressful here but I'm far from bored.  And if I'm going to achieve any of my goals, I'm going to have to TAKE the time just like I'd have to back home.

Social Butterfiles

It's crazy how things can change in 5-6 weeks.  Of course we didn't know anyone when we first moved here, but last week we were very busy with dinners invites, dinner guests, playdates, yoga and exercise classes nearly every night.  It's been great getting to know some of the local moms as well as some of the "southerners" (mostly the teachers) that are here for work.  The downside to all these food related activities is that it's been not so good for my plans to lose a little weight...  Oh well, all the exercise classes kept me at "neutral" - thank goodness!  I've decided to have a girl's night at my house this Saturday night (Feb 12th) for a chocolate fondue.  I've tried to make it a tradition to have these girl's nights no matter where I am so this is my first of many for Coral Harbour I hope.  Thinking about these such nights is making me homesick for my girlfriends in Selkirk.  Sadly, I was unable to plan as many playdates and girls nights as I would have liked in my last number of months there...  I have only invited the "southerners" for this one (as opposed to also include some of my local friends) since I'm not sure how it would turn out.  And since I don't know anyone here very well, I decided to take it slow.  My friend Jenna has called me "the glue" in the past.  Referring to a person that brings people from different groups of friends or from different walks of life together.  I imagine that I will think of something to bridge that gap...  In time, when I get to know everyone better.

Fishing Village

What a beautiful morning.  Of course it was beautiful, it was 30 degrees warmer than just a couple days ago (it was - 24 this am)!!!!!  I REALLY enjoyed my morning walks today (dropping and picking up the boys).  Of course I did, I could breathe, I could see, and I could feel my skin.  I could take my time and enjoy the scenery around me.  I could wave to passer-bys and I could walk to the Northern Store to buy a few things.  I took in the scenery this morning and I've decided that Coral Harbour is pleasant looking. It may actually be really nice, I think.  Either that or it's really grown on me.  It's a small town with a few hills and big rocks.  The town caresses a weaving shore.  Today I noticed all the boats.  There are actually quite a few homes that had fishing boats parked beside them, especially the homes right on the shore.  Then I noticed that some of the newer housing complexes (I think they are apartments or condos) are brightly coloured.  One was red, one dark blue, one light blue, two creamy yellow and one beige. All of a sudden it hit me.  This reminds me of a fishing village in Newfoundland!  The coloured houses, the boats, the shore, the rugged terrain...  How quaint.  I can't wait to see this place in the summer.  I can't wait to see the water.  I bet this place is beautiful.  I can't wait to take my kids to see and play by the shore - they will LOVE it.  I can't wait to experience the buzz of the local people coming and going on the Bay.  I bet more people will be out and about.  Actually I've heard many stories of the town never sleeping in the summer because of all the daylight.  It's interesting that this place reminds me of Newfoundland (Rankin Inlet really reminded me of NFLD because it's even rockier) since many people who come to these communities to work are Newfoundlanders, especially the managerial staff at the grocery stores (actually ALL the managerial staff that I've met here at both stores and in Rankin where all from NFLD).  I'm not entirely sure of all the reasons why, but I've heard that NFLD advertises working in Nunavut.  Well if you have managerial experience and want to be able to retire early come work in the North!  Apparently it's well worth it.  I like it!  And I'll be your friend ;-)

Future Opportunities

Today it occurred to me that I really like living here.  It's amazing what a month and a half can do!  I wonder if we will have any say, but I'm already thinking that I won't want to leave in two years.  Actually, I don't want to leave now.  Having to start all over in a new community makes me want to cry.  I find it really hard.  I love going to daycare and chatting with the ladies, going to the grocery store and knowing many by name, and having people over for dinner or playdates.  I love the feeling of settling in, of being a part of the community - despite being and looking so different.  Brian and I have talked about the possibility of going to Rankin Inlet after our stent here.  It would make a lot of sense.  Rankin is closer (one less flight) to home, it's bigger (has 2 hotels, restaurants, coffee shop, and I'm assuming more stores or amenities) and the detachment is bigger too.  Actually the Ranking Inlet RCMP boss (I forget his ranking oops!) has been here in Coral Harbour this week and he was telling Brian that we should head there in 2 years since he will need a member then.  This should be great news.   Funny thing is though is that now we aren't so sure.  We've met a few people lately that had moved there and having been so homesick, they moved back.  They talk about how different it is.  The people are different (more alcohol related problems since it's not a dry community like Coral Harbour), the hunting isn't as good (more caribou here and there aren't any geese in Ranking like they have here - I'm looking forward to seeing them this summer), it's bigger and it's much colder there (nobody seems to know why).  Hhhhmmmmmm.  Something to pray about.  I wonder if they would ever let us stay here for the 4 years?  One downside to this is the fact that we wouldn't get to experience living in a different Inuit community.  They say every community has it's own "feel" or "flavour".  I mean, if we are going to come this far we may as well experience as much as possible.  I a lso have to think of my boys and possibly being able to offer them more in a bigger community. I will have to look into what that "more" would be.  Would there be "more" for my boys to get into trouble or would there be more athletic, recreational and educational resources?  I think I would like to spend a day or so in Rankin on our way through this summer to look around, get a feel for the place and see what it has to offer.  It seems terrible to talk about leaving when we just got here but I know that it will fly.  For now I simply need to take in and enjoy this lag of the trip.